


love and fall

by qauux7



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I needed more content, M/M, because double b is so damn low-key now, my bbies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 16:33:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12346458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qauux7/pseuds/qauux7
Summary: falling in love doesn't mean that you have fallen.that's something that Bobby and B.I still have yet to figure out





	love and fall

BOBBY’S POV

 

_What the fuck._

Even with the dim lighting, booze, and all these people hanging off of him, Bobby couldn’t stop looking over at Hanbin. He was flirting with Jaewon right in front of him. At _his_ release party. What the fuck.

 

If they weren’t in public he would’ve grabbed Hanbin by the back of his collar and slammed him against a wall. He’d leave bite marks all over Hanbin’s stupid, long ass, alluring neck. That would show him who he belongs to. But as of now all he could do was send pointed glares and clench his jaw to hold back his simmering jealousy.

 

Performing little teasers of his new songs kept his mind off of Hanbin’s little affair for a while, but his eyes kept being drawn back to that corner. That just made him more angry as he saw the two whispering in each others ears and giggling over who knows what. Bobby wanted to just go over there and smash his mouth on Hanbin’s, claiming him in front of the world.

 

Before he knew it, Bobby was done with his performances and downing alcohol quicker than YG sending them to Japan again (lmao). He knew it was probably bad to drink this much, but the buzz released his pent up emotions.

 

His body was unwinding. Energy was emananting from his very pores. A dopey grin broke across his face and Bobby wobbled down to the dance floor, set on forgetting his frustrations for the night. After all, it _was_ his night.

 

Bobby was having the time of his life moving to the music. With each beat, he could feel the heat burning inside of his chest dissipate until it reduced to ashes. The warmth of bodies rubbing up against him only heightened his mood, until someone gripped his arm.

 

Annoyed, he tried to swat it away so he could enjoy his release party to the fullest. But the hand only squeezed harder. He turned his lidded eyes toward the hand and came face to face with a seething Hanbin.

 

His baby was here. An even bigger smile broke across Bobby’s face as he reached his arms out to envelope Hanbin in one of his infamous bear hugs in an attempt to make his frown go away.

 

But Hanbin shot him a glare and pushed him away. With a pout he tried again, but Hanbin was being stubborn. He wouldn’t let Bobby touch him. At that he suddenly remembered what had happened earlier that night, and his anger came tumbling back.

 

“We have to go. You’re getting too wasted, stupid.”

 

Bobby got even angrier. _First of all_ , Hanbin couldn’t tell him what to do. And secondly, he was not stupid. He opened his mouth ready to shout at Hanbin, and in doing so would expose their relationship.

 

But Hanbin knew him well enough to know what was coming. By the time Bobby opened his mouth, Hanbin’s hand was already there. Realizing that Hanbin wouldn’t let him speak, he pushed away his hand and turned to head back onto the dance floor. But Hanbin wasn’t having it.

 

“We have to go. I don’t know what’s up with you, but you just got to release your solo album, don’t mess this up.”

 

How could Hanbin _not know_ why he was upset? He thought that they knew each other well enough by now that they didn’t need words to communicate. Guess he thought wrong.

 

Hanbin was still right about one thing, though. So Bobby pushed past him and stumbled toward the other members, who were waiting on the side. They gave him knowing looks. Each patting him on the back as he passed by.

 

All he did was shrug off their useless comforts. If the others could read his thoughts, why couldn’t Hanbin, who was supposed to be his best friend and boyfriend, read him after all these years? After all they had been through. He could feel the anger seething up into his throat, ready to catch fire again. But he bit his tongue to hold the spitfire at bay. Even in his drunken mindstate, there was a little voice inside his head that told him that this wasn’t the time and place. Funny thing was, his little conscience sounded a whole lot like Hanbin.

 

That thought only made him feel even crappier and he looked for a shoulder to lean on. Bobby was usually the one who did all the talking, but why did it always have to be him? Why couldn’t Hanbin just put in even half of what he did into their relationship.

 

While his head was running laps, Donghyuk and Jinhwan had flanked his sides, each grabbing an arm to make sure he woudn’t fall. They were such moms. But knowing Donghyuk wouldn’t push him too hard to talk, Bobby grabbed onto him and clung all the way back to the dorm.

 

He really just left his own release party early because of Hanbin. Who was cheating on him. At the thought, Jiwon squeezed Donghyuk harder and buried his face into his neck. Breathing in the familiar scent calmed him down, and before he knew it Dong was shaking him awake to lead him back to their rooms. Of course Bobby was dragging Donghyuk to his, since he wasn’t going to sleep alone tonight. Hanbin grabbed his hand.

 

“What do you want?” he drawled with his gravelly voice.

 

“Kimbap, can I sleep with you tonight?” Hanbin whined and then pouted with those pretty lips that made Bobby weak at the knees. He did not just call him by that pet name. Even though he tried to make it look like he was having a hard time deciding, Bobby was weak. He really hated how much Hanbin affected him.

 

When they got into his room, Bobby was immediately pushed onto his bed. Hanbin made quick work of his shirt and attacked his lips. Disgruntled, Bobby only made half the effort to reciprocate Hanbin’s hungry kisses. It wasn’t until he felt his jeans being unbuttoned that Bobby snapped to his senses and pushed Hanbin off of him, who only tried to suck on his neck and run his hands down his chest instead.

 

“Get off!” Bobby tried to push Hanbin off of him again.

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“No, what the fuck you! You spent all night flirting with Jaewon-hyung and now you’re just using me to satisfy your horny ass just because I’m here. Well guess what. I’m not having it. Get out.”

 

“What are you talking about? It’s not like that. We’re best friends, you know that. Plus you were busy all night and you know I don’t like to drink.” Hanbin explained, trying to appeal to Bobby’s rational mind.

 

Too bad that Bobby was nowhere to be found at the moment.

 

“Best friends? I thought we were” Bobby spat, pulling his hands away from Hanbin’s searching ones.

 

“Well we are, but it’s different. He just gets me you know. We click.” That’s the thing about Hanbin, he always tried to be rational in the _worst_ moments. Hanbin never tried to understand his feelings, he just expected to be understood.

 

And Bobby did. Well, his mind did. Every relationship has a different dynamic and Jaewon did get Hanbin in a way that Bobby was still trying to understand. If anything, that’s what hurt him the most. So even if his mind got it, his heart was still lagging behind.

 

He was there when Hanbin had his break downs, who never let him help, no matter how much Bobby wanted to. And then for Jaewon to come out of nowhere and be the one Hanbin turned to instead, _hurt._ He wanted all of Hanbinーthe good and the bad. But when he opened his mouth that’s not what came out at all. He blamed his drunken state of mind.

 

“Well if you click so well with him, why don’t you date your best friend instead. We’re obviously not right for each other.”

 

B.I’S POV

 

Hanbin took a step back in shock. he was beyond hurt. He really wanted to be happy for Bobby and his new solo album release. But he always wondered if maybe he wasn’t enough for Bobby. I mean how could someone that perfect want someone like him? Someone who was still insecure about their relationship, someone who couldn’t be there with him as he rose into stardom?

 

He was still trying his best to open himself up to the other boy and really show him how much he loved him. But whatever he said or did, it just never felt like enough. Bobby deserved _more._

 

Hanbin could never be half as good a person as Bobby was, or as talented or anything. Even when Bobby invited him to listen to his full album with him before its release, all he could think about was how this couldn’t be about him. So now, all he heard was that the other didn’t want to be with him.

 

He didn’t mean to, but by the time his mind caught up with his mouth it was too late. His seemingly innocent questions about Bobby’s dating rumours sounded accusatory even to his ears. He quickly tried to retract his words.

 

BOBBY’S POV

 

Bobby was done listening. Not only did Hanbin have the audacity to go around being promiscuous but now he was accusing Bobby of cheating? No. He jumped out of the bed, still a little wobbly, and turned to Hanbin.

 

“Listen, you can keep your excuses to yourself. I’m not going to listen to anymore of this bullshit.” He growled with his teeth clenched. Bobby sounded like a tiger ready to pounce, restrained only by a thin metal cage一nothing like the fluffy bunny that everyone knew him to be.

 

And with that he turned, leaving his own room and barging into Donghyuk’s room. He made sure to lock it so that Hanbin couldn’t come in, even if it was his room too.

 

Of course, Bobby forgot his Pooh bear. Not like he was going to sleep well tonight anyways. With a sigh, Bobby pushed Donghyuk towards the wall and climbed into his bed with him. If the slammed doors hadn’t woken him yet, then this most definitely did. But the little angel only had to spare a single glance and instantly knew what happened.

 

Bobby knew he needed to, but he didn’t want to talk right now. So he just shook his head in defeat and attached himself to the other boy for the remainder of the night.

 

Bobby was right. He did not have a good night’s sleep. He kept wondering if he had said too much. No, it’s that he didn’t say enough. But being the way he was or the way they both were, he knew they were going in for a cold war.

 

That’s how they had always been. It was like the other didn’t exist. And he hated those times. They had such a bad way of dealing with problems. So maybe his words were true after all. Maybe they weren’t right for each other.

 

Even with the cameras on them and being surrounded by fans, the most either could do was sit close to each other in the airport. Bobby snuck glances at Hanbin, but all he could catch was the back of his head. The other members had learned by now not to interfere in their spats. They had to work it out themselves.

 

He sighed, not knowing how long the silence was going to last this time. But his mood did rise a little seeing Hanbin wearing the matching outfit that they had decided on wearing to the airport awhile back. So it couldn’t have been that bad right?

 

For some reason, the company had booked them individual rooms at the hotel. And not having the balls to go talk to Hanbin yet, Bobby just went to go bother Donghyuk. They might’ve gotten a little drunk because Donghyuk really couldn’t deal with anymore of Bobby’s whining. He decided that a drunk, happy Bobby was easier to deal with than a mopey, whiny Bobby.

 

The days after that came in a whirl. He had to fly back and forth from Korea and Japan for his schedules. Bobby was running on coffee and sheer willpower. It took every bit of strength in him to even open his eyes, let alone perform.

 

He loved what he did, but this was really too much. On 2 hours of sleep at the most each day, Bobby had to be in a constant state of motion. If he stopped for even a second he felt all the built up fatigue crash over him like a wave, and it took everything in him to stay standing.

 

Still, he found time for his mind to wander to Hanbin and how he was doing. The only time he saw the other boy was when they were on stage. From what he heard from the others, the boy never left his room. That in itself was worrisome. Hanbin was not a social butterfly, but by no means was he a recluse.

 

B.I’S POV

 

He missed him so much. He only caught glimpses of Bobby at their events and even then the most interaction they had was a glance or two. They hadn’t spoken in almost a week and he couldn’t stand it. Hanbin hoped that Bobby noticed that he wore their matching outfit the first day to the airport. Seeing that Bobby also wore the outfit did give him hope that this fight wouldn’t last long.

 

That hope was soon crushed though when he found out that Bobby was sleeping in Donghyuk’s room whenever he got back to Japan. Though he wanted to give him the space he needed, Hanbin couldn’t help but feel that maybe Donghyuk was more perfect for Bobby than he was. After all, Bobby was a lot more clingy with the other boy. He was definitely more energetic and unreserved.

 

Eventually, Hanbin spent all his free time in his room only accompanied by Pooh.

Surprisingly, Bobby had yet to notice that his childhood treasure had gone missing from his bed. But then again Bobby didn’t even have the time to sleep. His heart hurt just thinking about how much the other was going through, and he couldn’t even be there for him through it.

 

And then he was back to thinking he wasn’t good enough for Bobby. It was a vicious cycle. Hanbin clutched Pooh tighter to his chest as he curled into a ball on his bed. His bed that felt vaster than the ocean between Japan and Korea without Bobby in it with him. He missed the other boy _so much_. There was a little empty space that used to be filled with bunny teeth and warm cuddles.

 

Hanbin was broken out of his thoughts by a knocking on the door. He ignored it, hoping that the whoever it was would think he was sleeping. They only knocked harder.

 

“Hanbin hyung, I know you’re awake! Stop being lazy and come get the door before I have to break in.” It was Donghyuk.

 

Why him of all people? Hanbin knew that he didn’t do anything wrong but right now Donghyuk just being himself was enough to get Hanbin upset. He wasn’t proud of what he said next.

 

“Me? Lazy? Maybe take a look at yourself first before you get in my business. I can’t even take a break in peace after having to deal with all of your mistakes all day.” He wasn’t yelling, but each spiteful word punched a hole in both of their hearts. _Stop stop stop. Shut up. You don’t mean this._

 

“Why don’t you guys practice more and then come back to me after you’re on my level?”

It was getting hard to breathe. This is not the person he wanted to be. Things like this is why he could never think he was good enough to stand beside Bobby, let alone share his spotlight. Hanbin had an ugly temper and it always reared its head to devour not only him but everyone around him.

 

Next thing he knew, there was loud rapping on his door and he heard a voice that made his breath hitch. It was angry, specifically at him. And that made him want to open the door even less. All Bobby was going to do was yell at him for hurting Donghyuk’s feelings and stepping out of line and he couldn’t take that right now.

 

He already knew that. He didn’t need to be told twice, and especially by someone he cared so much about. He didn’t want Bobby to think any less of him than he already did. Hanbin curled in tighter and covered his head with the pillow.

 

BOBBY’S POV

 

Hanbin was hard to handle when frustrated. He tended to explode. Hanbin was the type to internalize all bad feelings, which was bad for himself and everyone around him. But that didn’t mean he had to lash out at Donghyuk.

 

This little silent treatment had gone on too long. It wasn’t cute anymore now that it was involving other people. Good thing Donghyuk was understanding, giving him a nod and pat on the shoulder before leaving him to deal with Hanbin. He hoped that Donghyuk wouldn’t take any of Hanbin’s words to heart. The younger boy tended to hold onto his hyungs’ words, no matter what it was.

 

With spare keys from their manager, Bobby barged into the room ready to scold Hanbin.

 

He froze midway. Hanbin looked so _small_ curled up on the bed, and was that his Pooh? His heart constricted. He hadn’t seen the other boy in this state for a long time. Bobby’s previous frustrations were thrown on a backburner, because honestly all he wanted to do now was wrap Hanbin up in his arms. He moved to the bedside, ready to slide in, when he noticed that Hanbin was shaking.

 

Pulling the pillow off his head (not without a little resistance), revealed what a mess Hanbin had been these last few days. His hair was mussy, there were bags under his eyes, he had gotten a lot thinner. But that’s not what caught Bobby’s attention. Hanbin was crying.

 

Ever so slowly and carefully, Bobby lowered himself to the bed to cradle the other boy. The boy weakly protested before he allowed himself to be enveloped in Bobby’s arms.

 

Bobby could feel each shuddering breath and hiccup that Hanbin made. It only made him hug the other boy closer, as if he could hold him together and keep his from breaking. The two lay like that for a while without speaking until only little sniffles were heard.

 

Not wanting to break the silence, but always being the one that was barreled through any situation, Hanbin pushed his lifeline away. “Why are you here?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Shouldn’t you be with Donghyuk, your firework?”

 

He told himself he wouldn’t, but Bobby really couldn’t just lay here and let Hanbin spout bullshit out of his mouth like Trump on Twitter.

 

“I mean I’m no one right” he mumbled bitterly.

 

Bobby saw red. He gripped Hanbin’s shoulder in an attempt to keep himself from shaking the boy like a bobble head until he saw reason.

“What do you mean _no one?!_ I WROTE A _WHOLE_ 10 SONG ALBUM FOR YOU, DUMBASS. YOU’RE THE ONE CHEATING ON ME.”

 

“I already told you that I’m NOT. Wait. Wait, wait a second. You wrote the album for who?” Confusion billowed in his chest, pushing aside the hurt that had been residing in his heart the past week.

 

Bobby furrowed his brows, because Hanbin should already know this. He was his boyfriend, for God’s sake.

“Who _else_ would it be for?! YES YOU ARE. Stop denying it. Just say I’m not good enough for you and go.” He forgot his earlier resolution not to shake Hanbin around like a ragdoll, but in his defense he tried really hard not to. He did, but Hanbin never failed to shake him up.

 

With a heave, Hanbin scrambled to pick up and object on his bedstand and hurled it at the other boy. Too shocked to react, Bobby was hit square in the face.

 

“Ow, what the fuck?” he recoiled. Did Hanbin just _throw something_ at his face? Oh it was going _down_ . He bent down to chuck the object back, but Hanbin’s familiar chicken scratch caught his eye. This was his notebook. Like _the_ notebook. The one he wrote everything in. It served as his lyric book and diary. And he protected it like a mama bear protected her cubs.

 

It struck Bobby harder than he thought it would. His world just kind of paused in that moment. Wow. Their relationship was really coming to an end if Hanbin was upset enough to throw his entire life at Bobby, like it was trash. Just like that huh?

 

It was a surreal feeling. It was like he was living but without feeling, like he was viewing his life through another dimension. Bobby felt detached, in the simplest way to explain it. Too shocked to really offer any opposition, he stood up.

 

“Okay. I get it. Fine.” Bobby whispered, and gently laid the notebook down.

 

“Where are you going?” Hanbin cried, grabbing for his hands.

Bobby couldn’t even reply. He was so choked up, even breathing was difficult. So he just turned. Again, Hanbin pulled him back. Bobby shook his arm, trying to get away before his tears broke.

 

It was only in times like these where Hanbin was the stronger one. He yanked the other boy back onto the bed with a plop, but Bobby still refused to look at him. He didn’t think he could without his turmoil leaking onto his face. He always wore his heart on his sleeve after all.

 

B.I’S POV

 

Hanbin repeatedly shoved the notebook into Bobby’s face, who only pushed it away.

 

“ _Read it_ , asshole!” He exasperated.

 

“You’re the asshole.” Bobby whispered, with his eyes still casted down.

 

“ _Just_.” Hanbin took one of Bobby’s limp hands and put the book in it. His chest was heaving and the waterworks were on the verge of breaking through the dam. Why isn’t he reading it? He didn’t understand.

 

BOBBY’S POV

 

He knew Hanbin, he knew he was going to cry. And with that, he finally found his words.

 

“Why are you crying? I’m the one that wants to.” he demanded.

 

“WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO CRY. SHUT UP. I HATE YOU AND I’M NOT CRYING.” Hanbin retaliated. His emotions finally edging their way out.

 

“NO, YOU SHUT UP.  YOU LOVE ME AND MY BUNNY TEETH.” Bobby didn’t know what compelled him to say it, but that was the one thing that Hanbin had always lovingly teased him about. They were an insecurity that Hanbin turned into a merit.

“THEY’RE CUTE GODDAMMIT.” And there it was. Hanbin was once again making him feel like he was perfect just the way he was.

 

“THANK YOU.” Bobby shouted back, still emotionally charged.

 

“STOP YELLING AT ME.” Hanbin’s face contorted, and Bobby could see that he was biting back his tears.

 

Even if his word’s weren’t nearly meant to attack, Hanbin had never been one to take being yelled at well. So he did as the other boy said, because honestly he had the biggest soft spot for the younger.

 

“Thank you.” Bobby said again, this time rasping with his husky voice.

 

B.I’S POV

 

“What the fuck? I actually hate you.” Hanbin whined in despair, half wanting the other to feel as hurt as he did, but the other half was _way_ too affected by the other’s voice.

 

“Excuse me?!” He could see that Bobby was getting ready to fight again, but he interrupted the boy before his mouth could open again. He really couldn’t stop the onslaught of word vomit that erupted.

 

“I hate you and your dumb sexy voice, and bunny teeth and your crescent eye smile and how you give the best hugs but never let me cling to you, and how your hair is so soft and how your eyebrow piercing is the hottest thing ever, but most of all I hate how I’ll never be good enough for you. I’m sorry, Jiwon.”

 

He tried. He really did, but Hanbin couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, especially not after reminding himself of his inadequacy. He had turned away, tucking his arms in an attempt to hold himself together. Maybe the other boy would finally realize that he didn’t need Hanbin.

 

“Noo, baby nooo.”

 

He felt himself being swooped into Bobby’s arms and his knees almost gave out. He felt his walls crumbling. It had been so long since he had been held in the other’s embrace.

 

“You’re more than good enough. You’re so talented. Look at you and the hundreds of songs you’ve written. You know what’s good for each member and you’re such a great leader. None of us would be where we are without you. I’m so proud of you, baby. I love you, you freaking talented, caring, adorable, little baby.”

 

While he was talking, the other boy had slowly turned him around so that they were face to face. Bobby was brushing his hair out of his eyes, to reveal teary jewels.

 

“You really mean that?” He whispered unsuringly, locking eyes with the other boy. He wanted to make sure that Bobby was speaking the truth, because he would never allow the other be dragged down because of him.

 

“Of course. You’re an angel to me. Never forget that.” Bobby replied softly, eyes reflecting warm sincerety as they always did.

Hanbin’s breath hitched, and his heart swelled. He tackled the boy into a tangle of limbs and shoved his face into the other’s chest. Finally, he could inhale the comforting musk that had been absent from his life for what felt like 7 dog years. He really loved his Kimbap so much.

 

Bobby pressed his lips against the Hanbin’s forehead, holding it there for a few seconds to really reign in the feelings of relief and happiness flooding through his being. Upon releasing the kiss, he only had to look into the other’s eyes to know that they were going to be okay. He brought his hand to the back of Hanbin’s head and caressed the hair at his nape before wrapping the other boy up into the biggest of hugs. It was really nice to have the other back where he belonged.

 

And just like that the worst of it was over. Of course the two boys still had to work through the insecurities that they both held, but in the moment they just held each other tight. It was a healing process. A way to reconfirm the feelings they had for each other. And for now, that was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> woooooh. that's a whopping 11 pages, thanks for reading through it.
> 
> hope you guys enjoyed my story!! please leave comments below :)
> 
> BIG BIG THANKS TO MY WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS JAN AND SARAH FOR HELPING ME BETA <3 <3 <3


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